Behold the lowly physicist! You thought you'd found the standard model symmetry and called it truth. But tests do not agree, and leave you with a piece of physics wrought with holes. This cause for which your fathers fought is naught but gaps in which dark energy and three neutrino masses stubbornly refuse to fit. And so you sit, distraught. But wait, dear physicist, do not despair whilst there's amusement to be found in strings. And twistors, SUSY, loops and causal set maps too, or join the hunt to find out where the WIMPs are hid. Just such a lot of things there's left to do, and physics needs you yet! Alex Howes